tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161114486323869982024-03-08T16:14:55.922-08:00The Soul Mate ManifestoAre you ready for a deeply satisfying love? Whether you are looking for your soul mate or have already found true love, you've come to the right place. The Soul Mate Manifesto Blog is full of heartfelt musings, poems, stories, and advice to open your heart and mind to profound love and greater intimacy.Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-10862516924428474862009-07-04T07:35:00.000-07:002009-07-04T08:03:25.010-07:00Independence and the Search for a PartnerToday is July 4th, Independence Day, and it has got me thinking about the importance of our personal independence as we search and seek to fill our lives with more love and deepen our relationships. There are many people out there that may feel like "independence" and "relationships" are mutually exclusive. I beg to differ. The more independence and freedom we have the more likely we are to explore and express who we truly are. The more we exude our true selves the more likely we are to attract people who will either support us or challenge us to further evolve as individuals. All this individuality and strengthened sense of self will actually attract love and community... and relationships. In a healthy relationship, there are three entities: each partner and the relationship itself. Each partner is responsible for themselves and for working on themselves in order to strengthen the relationship. If both partners are committed to self-growth then they are each doing their part to help the relationship grow and deepen. <div><br /></div><div>As long as we keep our heart open and let our fears fall to the side we will be able to acknowledge how both independence and relationships can exist simultaneously (and how they can actually reinforce each other). We must have personal independence in order to make a relationship stronger and we must have relationships in order to push us to grow as individuals!<div><br /></div><div>Kahlil Gibran said it best:<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:14px;">Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.<br />For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.<br />And stand together yet not too near together:<br />For the pillars of the temple stand apart,<br />And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:14px;"><br /></span></span></div></div></div>Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-79036915472916567032009-05-02T08:31:00.000-07:002009-05-02T09:10:02.440-07:00What is a Soul Mate? The Elusive Soul Mate Definition...Ahhh... such an important question. Well, just like most of the deepest questions (What is the meaning of life? or Is there a higher power?), the answer is subjective and dependent upon many variables. In The Soul Mate Manifesto workshop/CD, I discuss some of the existing definitions of a Soul Mate. I talk about the classical definition of soul mates from Greek mythology, the Celtic view of soul mates that has to do with Karma and past lives, and I even talk of a more realistic and pragmatic view of soul mates. However, I stress that the only true definition of soul mate is one's personal definition. For me... I believe that a soul mate is someone with whom you feel love, peace, and connection from the deepest level of your being... from your soul. Think about the term "soul mate." It is literally a mate: a partner... of your soul: your essential Self. So, a soul mate relationship implies a profound connection. <div><br /></div><div>I believe you can more than one profound connection in your lifetime, and therefore you can have more than one soul mate relationship in a lifetime. Each can teach you profound lessons of the heart. I also believe that soul mates are not limited to romantic relationships. They can be our family members, teachers, or friends, but romantic soul mates are the ones that teach us about intimacy, companionship, passion... and of course, romance. But enough about what I believe, what do you believe defines a soul mate?</div>Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-8200711600417295942009-04-28T19:19:00.000-07:002009-04-28T20:12:20.983-07:00The Seasons of a Relationship...Relationships go through phases just like the seasons, and each phase of a relationship can be related to one of the 5 seasons (In Chinese medical theory there are 5 seasons, instead of 4, because late summer is considered to be the 5th season). The courtship phase, the beginning or birth of a relationship, is related to Spring, when things are unstable and excitable... hot and cold, up and down. The passion phase, aka the honeymoon stage, is related to Summer, when things are at the height of joy and intensity. The companionship phase, or the "warm blanket" stage, is related to late summer, when you settle into the comfort, warmth, and security of the relationship... nourished by friendship. The letting go phase is related to Autumn, when the ideals and expectations of perfection (of the relationship and of your partner) fall away like the leaves from the trees and what is left is each partner as they really are. Lastly, the phase of deep love is related to Winter, when a relationship intensifies and the connection deepens as the innermost layers and darkest sides of the couple are revealed... it is the stage of greatest intimacy because if you can stay committed through the Winter of a relationship then you can truly begin to understand unconditional love and a profound commitment. <div><br /></div><div>As we move through the phases of a relationship... we may find that there are certain phases in which we get stuck or have trouble even entering. If you can discover in which phase you may be blocked... then you can work on acknowledging and releasing whatever it is that may be creating resistance to the natural flow of a relationship. Give yourself the permission to stop repeating the same patterns. What can you do differently to accept each phase of the relationship?</div>Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-79499833364235452492009-04-14T18:35:00.000-07:002009-04-14T18:55:33.858-07:00Out of your whole life give but a moment!<div>I have loved poetry my whole life. And, since I have loved LOVE my whole life, it is not surprising that I have always loved LOVE poems. One of my favorite poems is Robert Browning's <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Now</span>... it reminds me of all the beauty, intensity, and passion that can be found in a single moment (when you are able to be completely present, when your heart is open and your head doesn't get in the way, when even for just that moment you experience the fullness of life...and love). </div><div><br /></div><div>NOW</div><div>by Robert Browning (1812-1889)</div><div><br /></div><div>Out of your whole life give but a moment!<br /></div><div>All of your life that has gone before,</div><div>All to come after it, -- so you ignore,</div><div>So you make perfect the present, condense, </div><div>In a rapture of rage, for perfection's endowment,</div><div>Thought and feeling and soul and sense,</div><div>Merged in a moment which gives me at last</div><div>You around me for once, you beneath me, above me --</div><div>Me, sure that, despite of time future, time past, </div><div>This tick of life-time's one moment you love me!</div><div>How long such suspension may linger? Ah, sweet,</div><div>The moment eternal -- just that and no more --</div><div>When ecstasy's utmost we clutch at the core, </div><div>While cheeks burn, arms open, eyes shut, and lips meet!</div>Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-51387414483033908412009-04-10T22:54:00.000-07:002009-04-10T23:42:12.690-07:00When you find it... you just know!Someone asked me recently... how do you know when you have found love and are not just caught up in the excitement around the idea of falling in love?<br /><br />My answer is quite simple... You just know. <br /><br />That may sound like a flippant answer, or even a condescending response. On the contrary, it is actually a thoughtful and humble reply. I have contemplated the question at great length and I have decided that it is not something I can describe logically. It has everything to do with personal intuition and is only really understood once it happens. How you know may be different from how I know... or how your best friends know or how your family members know.<br /><br />The best I can do for an explanation is describe commonalities between my personal experiences and the experiences of my clients and friends....<br /><br />1. The relationship progresses forward with fluidity... with ease. Even amidst disagreements or the chaotic uncertainty at the beginning of a relationship, still the love unfolds naturally and you are both committed to the continuance of that love. <br /><br />2. You heart feels full and at peace. You are joyful and grounded, simultaneously. <br /><br />3. When you close your eyes and picture your future, your partner is standing right beside you. You have certainty, even if you have your insecurities in the newness of a relationship. You have confidence that you are right where you need to be and you will go where you need to go... and your partner will help you get there.<br /><br />4. Synchronicity. <em>Synchronicity</em> is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a supposedly meaningful manner. In other words, meaningful coincidences. When you find love, you start experiencing mysterious coincidences and feel that things are happening or have happened "for a reason."<br /><br />5. You feel "different" than you have felt in the past. The "different" feeling is for you to interpret and is unique to you. For some, it is more alive, more familiar, more grounded, more real, more intense, warmer, softer, etc. Whatever it is... it is profoundly different than you've felt with anyone else.<br /><br />So, the best reply that I've come up with to date is... you just know!Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-38771934349658288252009-04-07T19:09:00.000-07:002009-04-07T21:19:28.257-07:00Why does it seem that love evades those who may desire it the most?Rumi says that it is not our jobs to seek for love but to seek and find all the barriers that we have built against it. I could not agree more. Sometimes it may seem like you are doing all the "right" things to find love and you have the purest intentions, but you still keep hitting "dead-ends" and repeating the same patterns. Why might this be happening?<br /><br />I thought I'd take a moment to offer some perspective on this phenomenon. Why does it seem that love evades those who may desire it the most?<br /><br />1. The patterns we keep repeating in relationships are clues to where we may be blocked. They are lessons to be learned. Sometimes we get so caught up in the frustration when a pattern presents itself again and again that we forget we have the power to change that pattern. We step into the victim role. Maybe it's that we feel we are always left behind, maybe it's that we feel we never get as much as we give, or that we always end up fighting more than talking...or loving. Whatever the pattern may be... we are never victims. We can change any pattern by acknowledging that we can only control our own mindset, behaviors, words, intention. We are the common denominator in any pattern. So to change the pattern, we must change ourselves... but we must decide to change only for ourselves and to better ourselves...not to please anyone else. When we can take responsibility for our role in any heartbreak or disappointing relationship... that is when we take one giant step forward toward LOVE!<br /><br />2. Each person we get involved with is helping us prepare for the next relationship. Sometimes we get so disheartened by the loss of one love, or the "failure" of a relationship, we fail to see how helpful that person may have been in propelling us closer to what we really want...an even deeper and more profound love. They may have simply showed us qualities that are not in alignment with what we value in a relationship or they may have been so close to "perfect" that it can actually validate how close we may be to finding our soul mate. Regardless of the lesson learned, it is important to see the beauty along the path and not get so attached to each stepping stone along the way.<br /><br />3. Profound love is first found within ourselves. Often we are looking for someone else to give us something that we think will make us whole, as if we are not whole without that person or without a relationship in general. We get attached to the idea of something outside of ourselves. Ironically, it is when we let go of the need for someone else's love, while keeping our hearts open to the possibilities, we find the love that may have been evading us. Also, when we fill our hearts with self-love we are able to truly experience a profound love with someone else... and when we accept ourselves and let go of self-judgment we can accept our partner and give and receive unconditional love. It starts with appreciating the little things about ourselves, thanking ourselves, and taking care of ourselves. <br /><br />Take the time this week to... 1. Look at the patterns that show up in your relationships-- what role do you usually play and how can you change that?; 2. Be grateful for all the loves and love interests that have crossed your path-- How have they added to your life?; and 3. Love yourself--What can you do to show thanks, love, and care for yourself?<br /><br />You are beautiful, whole, and deserving of all the love in the universe. Remember that.Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-40060343824708959342008-10-16T08:36:00.000-07:002008-10-16T08:58:26.210-07:00Buddha and Freud walk into a bar...I have been thinking a lot lately about the integration of eastern philosophies/religions and modern psychology, and how the two can be blended together to help us navigate life, as well as guide us on our love and relationship journeys.<div><br /></div><div>This is what I have come up with... so far:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. One aspect of Buddhist philosophy is the belief in the need for DETACHMENT. Detachment is the letting go of our NEED for something so that you can be in the present moment. This is an extremely helpful idea. I talk a lot about focusing your thoughts on what you want for your life and in regards to love, but it is equally as important to be able to let go of the NEED for those things and be present in the now. The funny thing is that the more you are able to detach from something, the more likely it is to enter your life.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. The world of psychology has changed a lot from the emergence of Sigmund Freud. There is a new branch of psychology called Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology believes that it is okay to attach yourself to the idea of happiness and the ways in which you can maximize your happiness. One specific concept included in Positive Psychology, as I understand it, is focusing on your strengths and what brings you joy. A way you can do this is by reviewing daily what you are grateful for in your life. Actually, in doing this gratitude review you are bringing yourself into the present moment while still maximizing your happiness for the future.</div><div><br /></div><div>What can we learn from these two seemingly different viewpoints...</div><div><br /></div><div>It is important to be in the moment! So, if you are on a path to more fulfillment in your love life, or any part of your life, just remember to stop every once in awhile and be right where you... doing that will actually bring you closer to where you want to go.</div><div><br /></div>Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-10823090242599919452008-10-11T18:40:00.000-07:002008-10-11T18:48:42.713-07:00Love-SicknessIt's amazing to me how easy it is for people to allow themselves the time to recover from an illness, yet they won't allow themselves that same time, and compassion, as they heal from a "Broken Heart" or even just a "Heartache." <br /><br />In the moment, whether you are sick from the flu or love-sick, take the time to care for yourself. Love yourself. Give yourself permission to feel the pain, to feel the discomfort, and know that just like the flu, the Love-Sickness will pass. You will again feel healthy, happy, and whole... but it is okay to FEEL whatever it is you feel in the moment.<br /><br />Remember that "that which we resist... persists."Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-68513985440545224532008-09-15T14:12:00.000-07:002008-09-15T15:53:30.652-07:00Real LoveI know I broadcast that I've met my "soul mate" and that I've manifested a deeply fulfilling relationship. But what does that really mean? Love, Relationships, Life... they are all subjective. Where do I get off declaring that I've found "IT?"<br /><br />Maybe I can best describe "IT" and explain why I think I've found "IT" by giving you a taste of what I was looking for, what I truly wanted, and what I have now...<br /><br />I always wanted a relationship in which I felt like I could truly be myself. This did not seem like a short order to me in the past because it included showing my neurosis in all it's glory. How was I going to find someone who didn't judge me when a was spiraling down an emotional rabbit hole? It isn't that these moments are the norm. Over the past few years I have begun to associate more with my self-evolved, spiritual side as opposed to the anxious, worry-wort side. But, hey, they are both a part of me and I was worried (a symptom of my neurosis and anxiety) that the darker side would scare true love away. I thought that in order to find love I had to have all of my issues completely resolved. That was a huge lie.<br /><br />When I began the manifestation process to find my soul mate, I told myself it was a lie... but I didn't fully believe it. However, I kept on telling myself that "You do not need to be fully evolved and without any issues to find love."<br /><br />On my list of qualities I was looking for in a partner was "someone who would love me for all of me, that would comfort me when I was feeling anxious, but would also challenge me to work through my issues to find greater clarity." I wanted someone who was non-judgmental. I wanted a true partner... someone to accept me for who I was, but would help me grow into a better person (or at least a person with a little less neurotic tendencies).<br /><br />That is what I found with my relationship. My relationship grounds me. It has forced me to look at life from a different perspective as well as my own and find a new point of view. I don't rely on my relationship for emotional stability, but it does offer me that. I still have to do the work on my own... journaling, meditating, staying true to me....but I have someone who supports me on my journey. And, I have someone that is committed to me and committed to our relationship. So, to me... I have found my "soul mate." I have found a deeply fulfilling relationship that is exactly what I was looking for. Does this mean that we are destined to be together for this whole lifetime? Only time will tell. I believe we can have many soul mates in a lifetime and it is important to not hold on to tightly to any relationship (Remember that codependence does not equal true love). All I know is that for now this relationship makes me extremely happy. It is not without it's rough moments, but it wouldn't be so grounding if it wasn't. That is what I love about it.... it is real love!Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-50999166661069313062008-07-14T18:53:00.000-07:002008-07-14T19:21:33.317-07:00The Happiness Additive: A loving relationship adds to your life. It's doesn't have to be about dependency.I have talked to so many woman that say, "I shouldn't want a relationship because I shouldn't need a man to make me happy." Here are my thoughts on that logic. I agree that happiness comes from within, and it is never healthy to look to another human being for your happiness. However, there is a difference between dependency and what I call "the happiness additive." There are certain things in our lives that ADD HAPPINESS, but we are not dependent on those things for all of our happiness. This is the case for a healthy, loving, supportive, relationship.<br /><br />Our self-love, self-care, and self-awareness are at the core of our happiness, and everything else is a "happiness additive."<br /><br />Love adds to our lives. The same way a purposeful, successful career can add to our lives. The same way a new pet can add to our lives. And the same way a healthy diet and exercise can add to our lives. But for some reason I don't hear women say to me, "I shouldn't want a successful career because I shouldn't need a career to make me happy," or "I shouldn't want a new pet because I shouldn't need a pet to make me happy," or "I shouldn't want a healthy diet and lots of exercise because I shouldn't need good health to make me happy." It is because the deep desire for love and a relationship has gotten confused with the unhealthy need for dependency.<br /><br />Just know that if you commit to personal growth, learn to love and accept yourself, and don't lose site of yourself on your path to love, LOVE WILL ADD IMMENSE HAPPINESS TO YOUR LIFE, and therefore THERE IS NO SHAME IN SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS THAT YOU WANT TO FIND LOVE.Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-53721478473305183692008-07-12T23:28:00.000-07:002008-07-12T23:39:28.637-07:00Men and Women are just differentIf there was one piece of advice that would solve most relationship problems... It would be that MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT CREATURES. There is a distinct difference between male energy and female energy. Therefore, learning how to communicate is key, but also... sometimes it helps to just know that we may express our emotions in different ways... and that different isn't synonymous with "bad." Women will often crave more affection and feel unloved without that affection, but men will often show their women love in different ways. The key, as I said before, is to communicate our needs without pointing the finger. Neither the man or the woman is usually wrong or "bad." It is just that we are just different.Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116111448632386998.post-59479430865307766482008-07-11T20:06:00.001-07:002008-07-11T20:43:22.270-07:00"Looking" for love can lead to blinding frustration!I listen to the frustration in people's voices when they talk about not being able to find true love. I remember that pang of frustration. I remember feeling it deep in my heart. I longed for someone to share my life with, someone to stand by my side as I navigated the ups and downs of life. I was tired of looking around wondering where my partner was... I was, like the people I listen to, FRUSTRATED. So, I decided to stop "looking." I wasn't giving up on finding true love. I just decided to go about it in a different way. I began to turn my attention inward. How was I getting in my own way? Did I even know what I wanted in a relationship? Had I ever had enough clarity to "put it out there"? Was I giving myself the kind of love that I wanted to share with someone else? Did I believe I could find true love? Was my frustration sending the wrong message? As I asked myself these questions, I began to realize that I needed to focus my attention on myself in order to find a meaningful relationship.<div><br /></div><div>I wanted to make the process fun. I got creative... and what came out of that self-reflective, imaginative, clarifying, and transformative time in my life was two things... TRUE LOVE and THE SOUL MATE MANIFESTO!</div><div><br /></div><div>Have you asked yourself the same questions that I asked myself? </div><div><br /></div><div>If you haven't, try it and see what you realize. </div><div>If you have, please share your revelations. </div><div>And, if you need any guidance on what steps to take now, let me know.</div><div><br /></div><div>Take an inside out approach to finding true love!</div><div><br /></div><div>-Jaime</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Jaimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15214930413425293151noreply@blogger.com0