Monday, July 14, 2008

The Happiness Additive: A loving relationship adds to your life. It's doesn't have to be about dependency.

I have talked to so many woman that say, "I shouldn't want a relationship because I shouldn't need a man to make me happy." Here are my thoughts on that logic. I agree that happiness comes from within, and it is never healthy to look to another human being for your happiness. However, there is a difference between dependency and what I call "the happiness additive." There are certain things in our lives that ADD HAPPINESS, but we are not dependent on those things for all of our happiness. This is the case for a healthy, loving, supportive, relationship.

Our self-love, self-care, and self-awareness are at the core of our happiness, and everything else is a "happiness additive."

Love adds to our lives. The same way a purposeful, successful career can add to our lives. The same way a new pet can add to our lives. And the same way a healthy diet and exercise can add to our lives. But for some reason I don't hear women say to me, "I shouldn't want a successful career because I shouldn't need a career to make me happy," or "I shouldn't want a new pet because I shouldn't need a pet to make me happy," or "I shouldn't want a healthy diet and lots of exercise because I shouldn't need good health to make me happy." It is because the deep desire for love and a relationship has gotten confused with the unhealthy need for dependency.

Just know that if you commit to personal growth, learn to love and accept yourself, and don't lose site of yourself on your path to love, LOVE WILL ADD IMMENSE HAPPINESS TO YOUR LIFE, and therefore THERE IS NO SHAME IN SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS THAT YOU WANT TO FIND LOVE.