Monday, September 15, 2008

Real Love

I know I broadcast that I've met my "soul mate" and that I've manifested a deeply fulfilling relationship. But what does that really mean? Love, Relationships, Life... they are all subjective. Where do I get off declaring that I've found "IT?"

Maybe I can best describe "IT" and explain why I think I've found "IT" by giving you a taste of what I was looking for, what I truly wanted, and what I have now...

I always wanted a relationship in which I felt like I could truly be myself. This did not seem like a short order to me in the past because it included showing my neurosis in all it's glory. How was I going to find someone who didn't judge me when a was spiraling down an emotional rabbit hole? It isn't that these moments are the norm. Over the past few years I have begun to associate more with my self-evolved, spiritual side as opposed to the anxious, worry-wort side. But, hey, they are both a part of me and I was worried (a symptom of my neurosis and anxiety) that the darker side would scare true love away. I thought that in order to find love I had to have all of my issues completely resolved. That was a huge lie.

When I began the manifestation process to find my soul mate, I told myself it was a lie... but I didn't fully believe it. However, I kept on telling myself that "You do not need to be fully evolved and without any issues to find love."

On my list of qualities I was looking for in a partner was "someone who would love me for all of me, that would comfort me when I was feeling anxious, but would also challenge me to work through my issues to find greater clarity." I wanted someone who was non-judgmental. I wanted a true partner... someone to accept me for who I was, but would help me grow into a better person (or at least a person with a little less neurotic tendencies).

That is what I found with my relationship. My relationship grounds me. It has forced me to look at life from a different perspective as well as my own and find a new point of view. I don't rely on my relationship for emotional stability, but it does offer me that. I still have to do the work on my own... journaling, meditating, staying true to me....but I have someone who supports me on my journey. And, I have someone that is committed to me and committed to our relationship. So, to me... I have found my "soul mate." I have found a deeply fulfilling relationship that is exactly what I was looking for. Does this mean that we are destined to be together for this whole lifetime? Only time will tell. I believe we can have many soul mates in a lifetime and it is important to not hold on to tightly to any relationship (Remember that codependence does not equal true love). All I know is that for now this relationship makes me extremely happy. It is not without it's rough moments, but it wouldn't be so grounding if it wasn't. That is what I love about it.... it is real love!

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